All Weddings & A Funeral

We call ourselves the Mankind. But you come to realize the true meaning of that proposition only during the coarse, stinging paths of the journey in the course of life. It was one fine saturday morning where i oversleep and undereat as part of morning customaries. Then as usual, i got up at ten and got ready swwoooosh in ten minutes and mind you ppl my driver was already there waiting for me down - honking all the while,. This is also part of the daily beaten up routine - where i make suleiman wait cuz i get up only 10 mins before he comes and i am ready 10 mins after his arrival.

Hopped on to the cab at 10.30 and was in office logging into my lap few minutes later - which usually is a sluggish process. As usual - mails, msgs, incident calls, and coffee break. back to work - went ahead with performance tuning activities for Manugistics Appln - as per plan of the day. Then came the call - the horrifying dreadful one. ! From periappa - sober, mournful, sorrow voice - a stormful silence - then came the painful disclosure - Appatha passed away.... Sheesh - although it was anticipated as she was suffering from a terminal illness for quiet sometime, when it finally happens - it kind of drowns you and drains you, how much ever prepared you are. That is wat u call the stage act - rehearse a million times and inspite of it the apprehensive hesitation is always there !

I broke down - unable to bear the fact and take the shock. I was in office - so pretty much in control in the outside. More than the shock, i was surprised about the fact that i did not shed tears the very moment like my dad or periappa. The sorrowful and agonizing fact was that - my dad was flying down from malaysia for the very purpose of spending some valuable time with his mother during her last days. God was so merciless that he had to take her away even before he could come home and see her last breadth - u know how important is - to see our own parents last breadth. It is like being able to see heaven on earth - not because of the fact that they are leaving us, but bcuz of the undeniable fact that it was the soul that was responsible for what you are at that moment is atlast leaving you all to yourself. Its an honour and privilege of every man to be able to see his/her mother/father give up their last beat. My father was not fortunate enough to have that

He landed and so did my grandma take off. Finally when he reached home his bro and sisters screamed aloud in vain crying with a contemplation of wanting to see her again. Haiyo pavam, its heartbreaking. But wat to do fate has the last say. At 11.30 i got the news - 1 pm booked flight tickets - 1.15 booked bus tickets to madurai (thats where she passed away) - and there i was before i could even let out a gasp of anguish in the plane watching out the window and trying to recall all precious moments that i had with the creator of my creator. One weird thing struck me then, why am i not still shedding tears !!!!! It was quite troubling though.

Next morning i was in madurai, i entered periappa's house and there they were, the 4 gifted souls - the sons and daughters of my appatha. One thing about her that i ve not spotted on anybody else till date is - till the last moment of her life she was not harsh, unkind, rude, punishing, or unpleasant to even the biggest sinners she had come across.. hats off - antha alavuku patience i have not seen in anyone. Even then i did not weep or sob - although i saw my dad, athais and periappa mourn aloud!!

Lots of visitors on the mourning day and innumerable condolences. Then we transported her in that refrigerating glass container to our native - the biggest disappointment of the 4 kids was that they could not fulfil their mother's last wish - to spend last days in our native - aaravayal. This was because there was not much hospitalization facilities available there to treat her in case of emergencies. So there it goes - last wish unfulfiled - even more excruciatingly painful.

Atleast to cremate her, we had to do it in aaravayal. So we took here there with that freezer container. And to tell you people, however beautiful or adorable or admirable you are looks wise - when your heart stops pumping and you've become lifeless - the body detoriates in hours - just like that. It turns pale, damp, disgusting, and ghastly. Inspite of this fact my grandma was still looking acceptable - cha, what a majestic royal she lived - pogum bothu ethuva irunthalum it will loose beauty.

There i was stranded in the land of my very own grandma where she was not there to see it for one last time............
compassionate side of the story in the next post mates